Dealing with grief

In my lifetime of 39 years I've had so many furry family members and of those I've had, I've had to deal with most of them dying. We live on a very busy street and because I hate a litter box, our kitties have been outdoor pets. Now, don't get me wrong because we have had our share of indoor pets. Right now we have Shelly a little turtle who is about 10 years old. (I've had her longer than I've had Alex) We also recently had Annie the hedgehog and Ozzy the Pueblan Milk Snake. (and before you go saying eww or anything mean about Ozzy, I just have to tell you that in the beginning I felt the same way but soon came to love him and he was one of the best pets we've ever had.) Ozzy and Annie both died of old age earlier this year.

With the loss of pets comes the responsibility of helping your kids cope with the pain and questions that death brings. My mom had this friend that she worked with. When one of their pets would pass away, they would tell their daughter that the animal had ran away. I'm not judging anyone's parenting skills but I do not think that's the best way to handle that. I think that kids can handle the truth. I believe that learning at an early age that life can come to an end, expected or abruptly, can help children learn to deal with the deaths of grandparents and people that they're close to. If they ask questions, only answer enough to satisfy them based on their age level.

Tonight our cat, Batman, was hit by a car and killed instantly. I didn't know it until I got ready to roll the trash can to the street. Alex and Nick don't know yet. I'm going to wait until Alex is home from school tomorrow afternoon so that he doesn't dwell on it all day at school. Nick is only two so I really don't think that he'll totally understand that Batman is gone, only that one of our three cats isn't here. Alex on the other hand is eight and very emotional. (ADD, ADHD and ODD) I'm pretty sure he's going to have lots of questions and I'll just handle it the best way I can but I'm positive that I won't lie to him.

Many times in the past when I've lost a furry family member, I've read this poem and want to share it with you. It does make me cry but it helps to release some of those feelings.

The Rainbow Bridge

By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,

Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.

Where the friends of man and woman do run,

When their time on earth is over and done.

For here, between this world and the next,

Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.

On this golden land, they wait and they play,

Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.

No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,

For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.

Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,

Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.

They romp through the grass, without even a care,

Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.

All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,

Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.

For just at that instant, their eyes have met;

Together again, both person and pet.

So they run to each other, these friends from long past,

The time of their parting is over at last.

The sadness they felt while they were apart,

Has turned into joy once more in each heart.

They embrace with a love that will last forever,

And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.

© 1998 Steve and Diane Bodofsky. All Rights Reserved