Dealing with grief

In my lifetime of 39 years I've had so many furry family members and of those I've had, I've had to deal with most of them dying. We live on a very busy street and because I hate a litter box, our kitties have been outdoor pets. Now, don't get me wrong because we have had our share of indoor pets. Right now we have Shelly a little turtle who is about 10 years old. (I've had her longer than I've had Alex) We also recently had Annie the hedgehog and Ozzy the Pueblan Milk Snake. (and before you go saying eww or anything mean about Ozzy, I just have to tell you that in the beginning I felt the same way but soon came to love him and he was one of the best pets we've ever had.) Ozzy and Annie both died of old age earlier this year.

With the loss of pets comes the responsibility of helping your kids cope with the pain and questions that death brings. My mom had this friend that she worked with. When one of their pets would pass away, they would tell their daughter that the animal had ran away. I'm not judging anyone's parenting skills but I do not think that's the best way to handle that. I think that kids can handle the truth. I believe that learning at an early age that life can come to an end, expected or abruptly, can help children learn to deal with the deaths of grandparents and people that they're close to. If they ask questions, only answer enough to satisfy them based on their age level.

Tonight our cat, Batman, was hit by a car and killed instantly. I didn't know it until I got ready to roll the trash can to the street. Alex and Nick don't know yet. I'm going to wait until Alex is home from school tomorrow afternoon so that he doesn't dwell on it all day at school. Nick is only two so I really don't think that he'll totally understand that Batman is gone, only that one of our three cats isn't here. Alex on the other hand is eight and very emotional. (ADD, ADHD and ODD) I'm pretty sure he's going to have lots of questions and I'll just handle it the best way I can but I'm positive that I won't lie to him.

Many times in the past when I've lost a furry family member, I've read this poem and want to share it with you. It does make me cry but it helps to release some of those feelings.

The Rainbow Bridge

By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,

Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.

Where the friends of man and woman do run,

When their time on earth is over and done.

For here, between this world and the next,

Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.

On this golden land, they wait and they play,

Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.

No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,

For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.

Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,

Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.

They romp through the grass, without even a care,

Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.

All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,

Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.

For just at that instant, their eyes have met;

Together again, both person and pet.

So they run to each other, these friends from long past,

The time of their parting is over at last.

The sadness they felt while they were apart,

Has turned into joy once more in each heart.

They embrace with a love that will last forever,

And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.

© 1998 Steve and Diane Bodofsky. All Rights Reserved

It's that time again...

School started in the middle of August for my two oldest kids and then a week later my second semester started. It's been non-stop "fun" since.

My son, Alex, is in the third grade this year. I don't remember Kourtney having so much homework in the third grade. Homework now takes at least 2 hours of non-stop sitting at the table. I do remember the third grade being a year of transition though. Alex seems to be enjoying his school year so far.

Kourtney, my oldest, is a senior this year. Yes, bring on mama's tears. I can't believe my precious little girl is about to start a new life. She has a steady boyfriend and they've talked about future plans but nothing permanent, or at least if they are set in stone, she hasn't told me about it yet. Senior year is soooo expensive. Her senior package of graduation invitations, cap and gown, etc. alone is $221. Then there's several rounds of senior portraits, prom and God knows what else.

I'm very proud of both of kids, well, all three actually but Nick isn't in school yet. I'm dreading that too! I don't know what I'm going to do when all three are away from the house. Lots of me time maybe.

Hope your kids and you too (if you're a student or a parent with kids in school) are off to a good new school year.

Parenting skills...or the lack of parenting skills

You would think with all of the crimes against children that you read about on a daily basis that by now I'd be used to hearing it and not be shocked. Maybe I have too much faith in the human race. Maybe I think that one day I'll wake up and the world is suddenly a better place. Like, just over night things will change for the better.

I've been watching the Casey Anthony trial. I can't sit and watch it continuously because it's very draining but I do catch the highlights on HLN and at lunch time on TruTV. Casey is a case for the history books. This girl (and yes I know innocent until proven guilty but puh-lezz) "allegedly" killed her precious 2 year old daughter and dumped her child like road kill for animals to pick off her rotting little body. Then she doesn't know for 31 days where she is, Casey's parents don't know where any of them are. Casey blames it all on the "nanny" and when that doesn't pan out for her and she's arrested, then her defense says that she was molested by her day. They say that Caylee drowned in the pool and Casey got scared. No, that didn't happen. Casey is a cold hearted bitch. She sits in the court room and has faked crying yet today when her mom was crying on the stand she never shed a tear. If I made my mom cry like that I would definitely have some type of emotion written all over my face. Casey just sits there. I think she's thinking that "I'm the snotty little party girl that is too cute to be convicted". The death penalty is too good for her.

And then you have this guy, Brian Annorneo, who was sentenced today to 40 years in prison for raping an infant and streaming it over the internet. I'm sorry Mr. Annorneo, but didn't something ever just tell you that something wasn't right about what you were doing? When that baby screamed because you were hurting him or her did you feel nothing? Everyone involved in that deserves more than 40 years, they deserve the death penalty.

Then there are those parents out there in the general public that never teach their kids anything. They teach them no manners, healthy eating habits, etc. About a month ago I had my kids at our local park and there was another family there. The mom was sitting under the picnic shelter busily talking on her cell. (why do you think you're so important?) Her kids were pretty much knocking my kids out of the way and she only paused a few times from her all important conversation to yell profanities. No, how about you get off the phone and join them on the playground and tell them what they're doing is wrong and tell them why. Tell them that they should be polite humans. This past Thursday night we were at our town's annual festival. My kids were waiting patiently in line for their turns on the carnival rides. Children were literally walking up and cutting in line. Why aren't the parents teaching their kids that this isn't appropriate? Good manners go a long way.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm the perfect mom and that my kids are perfect either but geeze...what is going on with society these days?

And in the off chance that Casey's parents, George and Cindy Anothony, are reading this, I send you my love and warm thoughts. I can only imagine what you're going through. I'm sure it's hard watching Casey, who is your daughter but at the same time is accused of taking the life of your precious grandbaby, Caylee. There has to be so many mixed emotions there.

Have a great rest of your day y'all!

Did you know there's a cult in Whitmire?

"Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean." Bob Marley

As I sit here tonight I'm so pissed I could explode. I try to be a good person and just when you think you're doing good, something happens or is said that just blows everything out of the water.

Should people be able to voice there opinions without being threatened? Apparently not. A few days ago my daughter who is a teenager voiced her opinion in her Facebook status about how a so called religious leader in our town should be practicing what she preaches. It got back to her and today the religious leader's husband, who is a police officer added my daughter as a friend only to post a threat on her wall. This couple leads a youth group and after the posts that these youth made on my daughter's wall I've came to the conclusion that this youth group is none other than a cult. Read the following comments from one of there members and maybe you'll agree.

Johnathan:

yo you need to stop disrespectin charlie lyk dat over some job aint nobody did a damn thang to you!!! An im apart of ***** an the *****, These ppl are good ppl but you obviously dont know what good is or seen it so i suggest you To SHUT YOUR SMART ASS MOUTH, ******* is lyk my aunt so you pick a fight with her you got one with ME!!! And no she dosnt appove of this behavoir im showing right now so Lord forgive me... THis is me yeah its a sin to swear but im not a hypocript cuz i know that i have sinnedd an i will repent until im in God's good grace!! Ill take my consequences from the almighty as long as i know that you have been put in your place!!!! Once again SHut ur mouth an dont comment back cuz i will always have some1 to shut it for yOU!!!!:))))

 

Johnathan:

Dont worry i got a few females to handle you BELEAVE DAT

 

So obviously these members are brainwashed. He's cussing he's supposed to be from a Christian organization. And it's also obvious that these people tolerate this kind of behavior from there members. (and notice that he's never had a grammar or spelling lesson)

This is America and yeah we do have the freedom of speech. If the first amendment protects people who protest at funerals, then why the hell can't people speak their minds without having to worry about what other people are saying.

And the way this whole thing got started is because someone who was a friend of my daughter's repeated what had been said.

To that person who ran and told, I'd like to say this: Do you have no life or nothing better to do? Are you so bored that you have to start trouble? Are you so miserable in your own life that you have to make others around you miserable too?

I don't pretend that I'm perfect. Perfect is not a word that I associate with myself. Just because you're pretending to be a born again, holy rolling, Bible thumping, pew jumping Christian does not make you perfect. You should open that Bible that you bought for your coffee table and check out a few passages like these:

Matthew 7:5 ESV You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

Luke 6:37 ESV Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.

James 4:12 There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

Shaking my head and rolling my eyes!

Something just happened that really pissed me off. It's happened before and I'm sure it will happen again. I posted a status on my Facebook, several comments were made. I left to go for a walk and when I returned an argument had broken out. In my opinion it's rude to argue with someone's comment if you don't agree with it, especially if it's not your wall to begin with. I ended up deleting the whole thread. I think that if you have to say anything, just send a message to the person you have the problem with. It's just rude. You would think there would be some type of Facebook etiquette or rules out there.

Or maybe just plain old common sense.